You got me

Yeah so I am happy now after I release all of my burden. I don’t want to have a fight with someone that I used to care about, you know. Well for her own good, I should know how to be my self and let that person go. So anyway, Now I realize that every thing happens bad or good has its own purpose you know. Well, it is better to keep the past in the deep sea right? Well I used not to believe in destiny but I really want to know about the truth of destiny, does it exist?

Well sometimes I realize that I wish I can go back to Indonesia and meet my family and my friends.
Of course, I also would love to meet a special "one" out there. Well, I want to know more about that person, I know that long distance is really matter to both of us I think but someday if I got a job, I would love to go back to indonesia and bring that person to come here to know more about my life and the place that I live.
Yeah i am so hungry now, but I gotta go to eat my lunch, indonesian fried rice…heuheueh….
Well Happy Hallowen…hope you have a great time

Every single day I studied and worked in my university, well when I walked to the class or the library sometimes I thought where I am belong to. Have u had this kind feeling before? I think most people have this feeling too. I just feel that I am not needed in this place now. Sometimes I really miss my family that always support me. Anyhow, I just want to tell about my new life now. Recently, I hang out with japanese people since they are pretty outgoing and friendly compared to others even though sometimes they talk with japanese to their friend but I am stll comfortable to hang out with them rather than stuck alone and remember how I lost the most precious thing in my life. I know that we will never make the time go back again.
Well honestly, people can see me that I am outgoing person and lot a friend but they do not know deep inside my self you know. Of course, sometimes I feel lonely too honestly in here. People need someone whom you can share his or her happiness and sadness too  LOL.
Yeah sometimes I am wondering where I can find my lost rib too ( tulang rusuk)–> [in Genesis in old testament].
Well I am so curious why sometimes people when they went back from Indonesia for holiday they change their attitude which sometimes can make other people sad or hurt. I really want to know what the thing happens that can make people change their perspective. Hopefully, none of my best and good friend change their characters in the future.
For sure, now I only can concentrate to reach my goal in here and make my family happy.
Frankly, I used to fall in love with a girl that is so gorgeous, perfect to me. When she looks terrible I still love her or when she yells at me. I knew that I loved her so much because even though she made a big mistake or hurt me greatly, I still can forgive her. But the bad thing about me is that sometimes I can’t forgive my self and still stuck in the past. Now, I need to learn about releasing someone I really care happily even though I can’t accept the fact that I lost her. For her own good, I should be happy for her if there will be someone who can cheerish and make her smile and happy everyday. Well, once cross in my mind that I want to say good bye with her but I do not think she should know about my thought. I really want to wave my hand when I met her and say "Sayonara my lovely friend, hope you find your own happiness" Oh gosh I think I need to sleep then. Have a great weekend my diary.

Hey, guys I just want to tell about my activity. I am pretty busy about school,orgazination and work. And here is a really good expression from friend which really has the same meaning for me too, mostly hihi. Basically, the blue text is the text from my precious friend that I took.

Anyway I am gonna put my friend’s expresion below:

Im a
happier person now each day… totally no pressure… nothing to worry
about now…im stick on to what i believe and by the way i think… i
can accept myself more…well i do stick on also to my personality… i
am what i am for sure…but im willing to change and even sacrifice for
the one i really do think its for to hold on to… not goin to waste my
time for someone i got doubt in..im even not goin to force myself…
sometimes i heard my friends story yep bout their loved one…they been
ignored…been left alone with no reason… guys can be so heartless
sometimes… but yea been there done that… i experienced
everything… and i hope its not goin to happen to me next time… not
ever again… but now i feel like so relieved…calm down…leaving all
my past behind for sure and never look back… im never gonna mention
any of them again… all those exes and stuff… looking forward for my
future of course… i know its goin to be better each day…be friends
with anyone with no exception…its gonna cheer my life even more…

well based on my experience in love life…

1.Be loyal to ure loved ones…

2.Do
something nice without granted( if u already being nice and everything
but they give u sh*t as they payback…better dump them…for all the
nicest things u do…do it with all ure heart and they’re the one who
gonna regret it next time if they being so mean and heartless…)

3.Give and take… everything must be equal… dont let the guy or girl stepped on u…

4.Dont
hold ure emotion…just speak it out… talk things out… if u keep
hold on to it…well one day u sure gonna explode( well like i did last
time…)

5.The guy
/ the girl must appreciate u inside and out no matter what…( if he or
she wants u to change… say it nicely without hurting or
demanding…dont change to be someone ure not…)

6.If he or she truly loves u… they will listen for what u said…as long its true and reasonable…)

7.No
cheating especially adultry…no those night life can wreck ure
relationship… once in a while it still ok…well even smallest thing
like friendster… well so far i think so…

i think thats it… any comments or complain just give comment…*^^*

Yeah, I just got back from FIUTS camp last night. Well I am so tired since this is the first time I drove a van LOL. I wake up around nine o’clock which is good I think. To have insomnia is really a pain in the ass you know, like you sleep 4 or five a clock everyday and wake up 12 in the afternoon but hopefully I can sleep normally. People became more dynamic when they realize that they have more options to reach their happiness. Some people can be happy if they hang out with their friend or they are feel being needed by their friend or family or the love one too. I think you know Tupac Sakur right? He said that War comes and goes but my soldier is still eternal. Mostly, a soldier will demonstrate enthusiasm and not easy to give up in the war. 
After people decide to get their dream, they have to leave all of the hinderance that they have. It is the same thing with love too, every single day you can have a greater love or a lesser love. Each problem in relationship has two different of point of view, it depends how you want to look at it.
My lovely friend give me a good quatation, " Butterflies comes and goes, so does love" . From this quatation, we know that love always comes and goes. If we had lose a wonderful love, no matter what we are gonna find a more beautiful love. I think this is what people expect to find more amazing love but we never know what kind of love we will get in the future. Well, for me it is not easy to leave love and find a new love. Sometimes we have to let the love goes eventhough it really hurts our heart and put the scars in our soul. I read one book "Turning hurt into halos and scars into stars", well this book mostly told stories about people who lost a love one (died) or people got abandoned. This book is quite intersting though. Anyway, I still believe that if we want to be happy when we walk to the street and face up to the sky, we still have to believe in " FAITH, LOVE and HOPE"

Couldn’t really say why

I became very initiative-taking

If you fall in love with someone, anything is worth doing

I want to announce loudly

That I can’t bear to be apart from you

Even my next door neighbors can guess my feelings right now

Holding your hand, a sense of unknowingly being touched

I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

Can love be forever innocent without sadness

Can love be simple without pain

Like this kind of life, I love you, you love me

Dear friends, this quote is taken from one of my friends that really have the same conditions with me. I feel relieved that not only me that feel the same ways in this world. Her quote also shows all of the feeling I had about life.

And her quote is expressed below:

well… we’re all humans… and do make mistakes… its depends on us
whether we want to change our bad habit or not…especially for someone
special in ur life… our personality its rooted on us and if we want
to change it cannot be 100%…we just need to adjust… change the bad
habit that ppl dont like,we can try… its all depends on ourselves…
dont care what ppl told about u… just be ourselves… if we feel we
dont do anything wrong and didnt harm anybody around us… so dont…
thats why why we’re all not perfect…
im writing this blog… cause i do learn something in my life and wanna
share it… even God forgives us for our mistakes… by just confessing
and promise not to do it again… But when we talk about Love… i know
its hard and complicated sometimes… but yeah i do confess Love make
us do Stupid things even when u dont realize it at all… yea u act
without thinking… even in public places… i know its embarassing…
but i do regret it… yep… even yea jealousy..
im willing to change my bad habit just for someone i do love… change
my bad habit… but why wasting ur time to a person that dont wanna be
with you…

Once again, I am very impressed with her expression she had. Wish her the best for everything